Miscellaneous – The Diane Collective

How I Treated My Keloids: My Experience With Injections, Laser, and Radiation

Diane — Mon, 16 Mar 2026 15:51:04 +0000

As of February 6, 2026, the last of my keloids has been officially treated!

We’re now waiting to see how it responds without treatment for at least 6 months, which I’ve gone at least 2-3 months without before, so my dermatologist and I are optimistic.

This is my 20+ year journey treating my keloids:

What is a Keloid?

A keloid is a type of raised scar that produces too much collagen beyond the original injury.

Keloids are more common in people of Asian and African descent and tend to develop on areas such as the chest, shoulders, jawline, and ears.

My History with Keloids

Jawline

I have suffered from severe acne since I was 11 years old and probably when I was around 15-16, I would casually pop the pimples along my jawline with my nails, which eventually formed into keloids.

I didn’t know at the time though as I thought they were cystic acne.

I remember a traumatic experience at a spa owned by an old Korean woman who insisted they needed to be stabbed and cut into because she thought it was cystic acne and that the core needed to be extracted.

Don’t trust fucking idiots.

But, the jawline keloids were the easiest to treat in my experience. Thank god!

Chest

I had a raised mole/birthmark that was removed via laser. It scabbed over and when it fell off, my keloid was born. Boo!

This is the one I was most embarrassed by because it was just there.

The keloids along my jawline blended in with the horrible acne, but one on my chest was front and center.

On the bright side, I always covered it up so my chest has aged gracefully with beautifully pale skin and no sun spots

Anyway, this area has the longest history because I just couldn’t get consistent enough treatment.

My Keloid Treatment Timeline

Before we go into the actual keloid treatments I’ve tried, this is my on-and-off history:

2006: Chest keloid formed
2007: Went to Korea for 3 months in the summer and got kenalog injections every week. Keloid would grow back because the US was not privy to keloid treatments yet.
2008: Went to Korea for 3 months in the summer and got kenalog injections every week.
2009: Went to Korea for 3 months in the summer and got kenalog injections every week.
2010: Jawline keloids formed. Went to Korea for 3 months in the summer and got kenalog injections for both chest and jawline every week. This time, the kenalog injections were done only on one side of my chest keloid, so when I went back home, the keloid grew beyond the side that was not treated as much.
2011-2014: I would get kenalog injections on-and-off at my school’s doctors’ offices but only to subside the itching.
2014-2018: US doctors finally started having the same answers as those in Korea! I was actually looking into cryotherapy, which is mostly done on the ears so I didn’t qualify. But, that’s how I found Dr. Pimple Popper‘s office before she blew up on Instagram. I ended up consistently seeing her Physician Assistant Erin Jensen, who now owns her own successful medspa practice now called The Treatment Skin Boutique, but Erin set up my treatment plan that I took over to my other doctors in the future. My jawline keloids were gone by 2018.
2019-2020: I moved to Washington DC and started going to Integrated Dermatology because they had the type of laser I needed per my so-far successful treatment with Erin. I saw the Medical Director at the time, Dr. Agnes Chang, and then started seeing Physician Assistant Nicole Masson in 2025.
2020-2022: I stopped laser treatments from 2020-2022 because of the pandemic. I started going to Nurse Practitioner Chanda Copeland of Advanced Dermatology to get steroid injections to subside the itching and treat the re-growth.
2022-2023: Once the world opened up again, I started getting injections every two weeks plus laser treatments every month. One side of my keloid was not responding anymore and so Chanda switched to a stronger type of injection. At this point, the keloid was flat, but we would keep “chasing” it because it would itch and grow in between appointments despite how aggressive we were.
2023: I got radiation treatment to “kill” the underlying keloid cells that were causing the rapid regrowth.
2023-2026: We were able to flatten out the keloid again and eventually stop injections! I continued laser every month and did the “weaker” kenalog injections as needed.

Fuuuu — writing this all out… it’s been a long time coming.

Keloid Treatments I’ve Tried

Kenalog Injections

Kenalog injections, also referred to as corticosteroid or steroid injections (not the bodybuilding kind!), reduces collagen production, which is why they’re used to treat keloids. This is what I solely used until 2014.

I’m used to needles at this point, so I don’t need numbing anymore. But, when I first started, I did. And please ask for numbing injections, not numbing cream; numbing cream doesn’t do shit.

Also, ask for kenalog injections with a Botox needle because they’re very thin. Some practices just use one type of needle, which if they do Botox, then you don’t have to ask every time.

This is especially helpful when you start foregoing numbing injections, which I’ll tell you why you would want to in the next section.

I will say that when you first start kenalog injections, you are in pain afterwards because you can sort of feel the collagen breaking down.

It’s especially uncomfortable and honestly hurts like hell along the jawline because your lower face just hurts so badly — almost like a burning sensation.

I remember one time just screaming and yelling my car because it hurt so badly. But, that’s only happened once.

Cortisone cream helped, but it didn’t take the pain away to make it not hurt.

Sorry to scare you a bit, but I would still do it again because… I was desperate to get rid of my keloids!

You also have to be careful not to get these injections done too frequently because it thins your skin and can even cause depressions since collagen is being targeted.

Thankfully, once you stop, your skin will typically go back to normal, which it did for me without the keloid getting worse (but this depended on the stage of treatment).

There were times it was a bit overdone and we had to stop, but after about 2-3 months, we’d be good again and resume treatment.

VBeam Laser

Vbeam laser is a type of pulse dye laser that helps get rid of redness by targeting the blood vessels. The blood vessels in your keloid “feed” it, so we’re basically cutting off the food supply!

2014-2018: As the keloids on my jawline and chest were flattening, Erin and I stopped numbing injections because numbing restricts blood flow; less blood vessels means less effective Vbeam laser.

That’s why using a thin Botox needle was very much necessary for my comfort because I was going to tolerate a lot. Thankfully, Erin is the type of medical professional who doesn’t disregard women’s pain (because shockingly a lot of female providers do just as much as the male ones).

2025-2026: As my keloid journey was coming to an end, I found that my chest keloid didn’t respond to Vbeam as well as before regarding the redness. At this point, my chest keloid was very flat and I found Vbeam was just a hair too much for my skin, which was fairly thin at this stage.

This next laser is what address my redness much better despite it not being designed for that!

Fraxel Laser

Fraxel is a non-ablative skin resurfacing laser, meaning it heats the skin to stimulate collagen, which I know is ironic considering keloids are caused by an overproduction of collagen.

By the way, there are non-ablative and ablative lasers; you can think of them as superficial and aggressive. You don’t want to use an aggressive laser with keloid-able skin!

Anyway, because the blood vessels in my keloid were essentially dying off, keloid collagen wasn’t being produced as much anymore, if at all.

At this point, I’ve had years of kenalog injections and Vbeam treatments that were addressing the keloid collagen, but they left my skin lumpy.

In theory, Fraxel would gently stimulate the area to smooth my skin and in practice, this was the case thankfully!

I switched off between Vbeam and Fraxel every other month.

Although at this point the keloids along my jawline were gone, I did use Fraxel to smooth out that area; I stopped all together around 2024 or 2025 since I was satisfied with its progress.

Towards the end of 2025 and into 2026, I would exclusively use Fraxel because I found my chest keloid would be less red by my next appointment compared to when I used Vbeam.

In my head, I think Fraxel would take off a layer of skin and some of its redness? Vbeam didn’t make it worse, but Fraxel was just much better.

This decision was played by ear and wasn’t something we had anticipated. But, if it wasn’t broke, we didn’t try to fix it!

Fluorouracil-5 Injections

Okay, the timeline is getting a little convoluted but Fluorouracil-5 (5-FU) was something we added into the mix in temporary place of kenalog injections.

I believe 5-FU was initially developed to stop cancer cells from reproducing. It’s great for keloids because it breaks down the collagen cells that are overproducing.

If you recall in my long ass timeline, I was in Korea and only the right side of my chest keloid was mainly injected back in the summer of 2014.

I really couldn’t tell you why. I was in a factory type of doctor’s office and I didn’t notice this was happening until the end of summer.

When I went back home, my chest keloid re-grew towards the left, where it wasn’t treated. As a result, when we flash forward to 2022 and 2023, the left side of my keloid was hard as a rock!

Chanda thinks the collagen produced there was tightly packed because of the new growth that happened nearly 8 years prior. But, it wasn’t responding to the kenalog injections anymore.

We were at a bit of a loss but luckily she was discussing this with a colleague who suggested using 5-FU.

AND IT WORKED! I don’t know who Chanda spoke with but she’s a real one and really saved us.

It softened that hard as a rock part of my keloid and eventually we weened off of it and switched back to kenalog injections because again, we don’t want to over treat and depress the healthy skin surrounding the keloid.

This is something to keep in your back pocket if you’re hitting a roadblock like I was.

But still, the chest keloid was growing back by the second week even though it was softer…

Superficial Radiation Therapy (SRT-100)

That’s when I looked into Superficial Radiation Therapy (SRT-100).

I was in a Facebook group about keloids and a lot of people were talking about Lexington Plastic Surgeons (LPS) who apparently specialize in keloid removal via surgery. The reviews were mixed.

Personally, I’m completely against surgery to address keloids. Of course, everyone’s keloids are different and some won’t respond to the treatments that worked for mine, but that’s just my belief.

I have gone to countless doctors who specialize in skin and scars over the years and they all are against surgery for keloids because they grow back worse (as can always be the case, but was especially so 10+ years ago) so that’s just what’s ingrained in me.

Some nurse practitioners and plastic surgeons have suggested it to me but I never considered it because they’re not experts. Sorry, not sorry!

But, an LPS office was close to me, so I set up a consultation because when I looked at their website, they called out radiation treatments so I was curious to learn more about it.

Basically, SRT-100 “kills” (lots of “killing” mentioned in this post lmao) the underlying cells of your keloid so there’s no regrowth.

I asked if I could just do the radiation with them and forego the surgery; and I could, but I would still have to pay the full cost of $10,000 and they don’t take insurance. GOODBYE~

After my consultation, I researched SRT-100 and found a local dermatologist office not only had it, but also took my insurance!

Thank you LPS for at least giving me this information, but I do NOT recommend them.

Surgery was also covered by my insurance at this provider, but again I refused it. I got three rounds of radiation and only paid $175 for all three treatments, plus my initial consultation and follow-up appointment.

Because I didn’t do surgery, the before and after wasn’t dramatic. The medical assistant was a confused, but the dermatologist said everything is good.

And they were!

Before radiation, my chest keloid would itch from regrowth after only a week or two, but after radiation, it scaled back to the typical 4 weeks.

This allowed my normal treatments to eventually to “kill” the rest of my keloid and the itching stopped all together.

Products that helped my keloids

Cortisone Cream

Back when I first started treatment, my keloid would itch all the time, even when things were progressing nicely.

Over-the-counter cortisone cream helped subside the itching as needed.

I stopped using it… a long ass time ago since I found a treatment plan that worked really well for me. But, it was very helpful when I did need it.

Silicone Patches

Silicone is an occlusive, meaning it traps moisture. For some reason, it’s great for healing scars and when you’re treating keloids, you can sort of control how it flattens.

Plus, if there’s regrowth, then you can similarly dictate how smooth it grows back.

To be honest, I was really bad at using silicone patches for the entirety of my treatment. Towards the end, I was much better at it because I’m at the end! Haha, so I’m more motivated and excited to do so.

There are silicone gels but I prefer non-reusable silicone patches because I never know when the gel has worn off and I think the pressure from the bandage helps. They also stick on better than the reusable ones.

Personally, I’ll keep them on for days before switching it out. And there’s maybe about one or two re-sticks too. I’m not too prescriptive about it.

And I guess you don’t even have to use it for most of the treatment? In fact, maybe I wouldn’t have done Fraxel, which we found addressed redness better than Vbeam towards the end.

Concluding my keloid journey

Towards the end, maybe there’s like a liiitle bump that Nicole and I are keen to get rid of with one more kenalog injection, but I think the silicone patch is doing it’s job for now.

If you recall, I’ve had acne since I was 11 and I haven’t been able to go on Accutane this entire time because of the laser treatments. So, I’ll be on that soon and in 6-9 months, we’ll see how my chest keloid is doing because… my jawline keloids have been long gone and never came back so I’m optimistic!

If you have any questions, feel free to DM me on Instagram @thedianecollective

Quick High Fiber Hoisin Noodles

Diane — Tue, 10 Mar 2026 21:45:01 +0000

Figuring out what to eat is the bane of human existence! Whenever I don’t feel like cooking but have to, I like to make these quick high fiber hoisin noodles.

Whenever I make pasta, I like to add heart of palm, which is the center of a palm tree? LMAO

The ones I get are in shreds and blend in with any long, stringy noodle. Add in a quick sauce, poach some chicken, and dinner is served.

Quick High Fiber Hoisin Noodle Recipe

This recipe serves 4.

200g Spaghetti or Fettuccine
338g Heart of Palm Linguine
7g Neutral Oil
White Part of 6 Green Onions – MINCE
6 Garlic Cloves – MINCE
64g Hoisin Sauce
30g Soy Sauce
14g Toasted Sesame Oil
14g Honey
Green Part of 3 Green Onions – MINCE

Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Add salt. Cook pasta of choice according to package instructions.
In a skillet with high sides, heat over medium-high. Add heart of palm linguine without liquid. Cook to evaporate excess water until lightly golden-brown.
Create a well in the center and add oil. Add the minced green onion whites and garlic. Cook until fragrant.
Add hoisin sauce, soy sauce, toasted sesame oil, and honey. Stir everything together.
Add pasta (and some starchy cooking water if drained). Toss everything together until sauce is evenly coated.
Serve with minced green onion greens.

Verdict on these Quick High Fiber Hoisin Noodles

I’m 75% sure I found this recipe is from the New York Times while scrolling YouTube Shorts.

The sauce is alright. The umami is strangely satisfying and I find myself taking random bites throughout the day, but it’s not something that blows me away and I can’t wait to eat it again, you know?

I will be making this again, but I’m hoping and am pretty confident that I’ll find a replacement soon.

Maybe I’ll go the Pad See Ew route next?

If baking is more your speed and how you came across my blog, then check out the Recipe Library where you can make my favorite baked goods in nearly every pan size!

About Friendship Breakups

Diane — Tue, 17 Feb 2026 23:36:23 +0000

I know Kylie Jenner got roasted for “realizing stuff” but sometimes, you really do just be realizing stuff.

Here’s what I realized: You don’t have to have a good reason to do anything.

At a traffic stop, you have the right to deny search and seizure. It doesn’t matter if someone says, “Well, if you didn’t have anything to hide, you’d just let us search.”

Sure. IF IT WASN’T YOUR CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT???

You have the right and you’re using it. The end.

The same applies to relationships — romantic, platonic, professional. If you consistently feel worse after interacting with someone, you are allowed to end it.

Even if nothing happened. Even if you’re being dramatic. Even if “on paper,” everything is fine.

Who is this for? (And who it’s not)

I know you know someone who always cuts people off and their life is shit because they do that.

Well, this message is for people who never cut people off and their life is shit because they do that, okay? Lmao.

Sentiments you’ve probably heard and internalized: “Oh you’re so sensitive,” “they didn’t mean it like that,” or “that’s just their humor.”

That’s great. It doesn’t change the fact that you feel like shit.

“Facts over feelings,” they say. But, sometimes it is feelings over facts. Or rather, feelings are facts.

The label by which you call a feeling is data and data equals facts so it is a fact that they feel this way. And even if the math isn’t adding up to you, the answer is the answer.

You feel like crap. Let’s start there.

Feelings ARE Facts

Fear is an emotion. That’s how we survived. We were scared as fuck and ran like hell.

It’s logical to want to live but emotion is what kept us alive!

Also, if these facts-over-feelings people really didn’t care, then they wouldn’t spend so much time trying to get you to stop feeling the way you feel.

It’s illogical because it’s a waste of time and energy. You being “dramatic” is actually not relevant.

Your feelings being “wrong” only matters when the other person can’t face their own. What they’re actually doing is trying to deflect their own anxiety and fear of rejection and abandonment by turning the spotlight onto you.

I know people who actually don’t care and are truly “more logical,” which by the way, I don’t think exists unless you’ve had an actual diagnosis by a professional.

Truly more-logical people take into consideration the others’ feelings as a data point and navigate the social situation in a way where the other person ends up happy, or at the very least, not distressed.

They don’t need an apology because they don’t feel wronged when you express your emotions.

They truly don’t care. But, don’t let that confuse you with a lack of empathy!

They really don’t feel any type of way, so whatever it takes to make you feel better, they’re going to try do that because it costs them nothing emotionally and it makes life easier for everyone.

It’s actually irrational to shut you down because it’s so much more work to scream and yell about something that is human.

That’s why the fake facts-over-feelings people always have drama in their life!

Outgrowing a Friendship

For the past year, I’ve noticed that I feel worse after spending time with a friend of mine. On paper, nothing has changed; she’s the same; her jokes are the same.

However, something shifted.

What used to feel like playful teasing that I took as attempts to be signify closeness now feels like digs; as if she secretly hates me.

Anytime I gassed myself up, there was what felt like a joke that was supposed to disguise her disdain.

I’ve felt this way for over a year. I’ve tried brushing it off and even leaning more into spending time with her to “get over it” but I just ended up with more pain.

So, I cut it off. I don’t reach out. I don’t text back. And, I don’t plan on bringing it up to her, which some might see as unfair.

But, I truly have no motivation or desire to get things back to the way things were because:

I’m not sure what that even is exactly because I’m not exactly sure what’s even different.
I’m not holding anyone’s hand to teach them how to treat me.

Maybe I’m a bad friend. Which in that case, she should be happy! Why should she have a bad friend, too?

You Don’t Have to Justify Your Exit

I used to think you had to justify leaving. That you had to debate your discomfort. That you owed people an explanation convincing enough for them to agree with your boundary.

I don’t believe that anymore. I’d rather be selfish than self-abandoning.

If someone truly believes I’m terrible for quietly stepping back, they’re free to feel that way.

Better question: Why are they trying so hard to keep someone who doesn’t want to be here around?

For real, I’m just walking away.

We’re not fighting. We’ve just changed for some reason… and I feel amazing after making this decision.

Because I really tried, you guys.

While I do feel a little bad about it, like “ugh, we had such good times…” but I’ve tried holding on for a whole year and felt worse every step I took towards her.

I can’t go on any longer because it’s my life! It’s always going to be too short.

If you’ve outgrown something, then you don’t need a catastrophic event to justify the end.

You can trust your gut. You can choose peace over proving a point. You can decide that that small feeling is reason enough.

Follow your gut. It’s a lot smarter than your brain gives it credit for.

Conclusion

Be the bad person because your definition of bad is like… if everyone was as bad as this, it’d be a pretty good place!

How to Stop Procrastination

Diane — Wed, 30 Jul 2025 20:50:36 +0000

What have you been putting off? I’ve been meaning to re-write my About page for forever!

Procrastination: I’ll do it later.

But, I keep willing to do it later… I simply don’t know what to write about because I don’t know what this blog is really about. Sure, I started it as a girl with too many hobbies, but if I want to build a community of like-minded people, why would they come to me?

And if I try to find out what the blog is about, then that means that page will get re-written and the real work begins…

Maybe I don’t want to do the real work?

Why do we procrastinate?

My therapist always says that procrastination is about avoidance. We want to avoid doing that thing for… some reason.

For me, maybe I’m afraid of success because to succeed means to be seen and to be seen is to be judged and I don’t want to be judged incorrectly.

It’s fine that you don’t like me, but don’t like me for a reason I think is acceptable lol.

And because I can’t control that… that’s why I’m putting it off.

Granted — I don’t know what I’d even be offering to people, so how can I re-write a page when I don’t know what to put in it?

I’ve been trying to find that answer, believe me!

Astrology can’t save me, only I can save me

I’ve heard of people getting scammed by astrologers, psychics, and tarot readers, but I seem to only find good ones because they’ve told me to not come to them because I’m meant to figure this out on my own.

Fuuuuu — bro, please take my money and fix my problems.

But, alas. I am my own savior.

On New Years Eve, I saw Sai Avani who I found on TikTok. We talked about what I could expect in 2025 and about what Evan Nathaniel Grim from Inner Worlds Astrology said to expect when Saturn squared my nodes — it was a boring “your inner world will change” answer lol

Which, to be fair, now that things have played out already, my inner world has changed! Haha.

But, one thing Sai said when it comes to what I want to put out into the world regarding my public reputation, career, and gifts… that’s something only I can answer.

Later in the year, I booked a creative astrology reading with Liz Worth who specialized primarily in tarot but recently opened up her astrology practice.

The reading was designed to help artists find their voice and she sort of did? I’m meant to share deep psychological or even taboo insights on a public platform. But again, I still felt lost.

Why would people be coming to me exactly?

Liz mentioned that I could totally do astrology and tarot if I wanted to. Maybe document my journey?

I’m still lost af.

My last stitch effort is maybe booking a reading with Ziggy Astrology who I recently got an omakase PDF reading from. It was super insightful and she touched on aspects that others haven’t.

And I do plan on going back to her for more answers, but at this point, I don’t expect miracles.

How to Stop Procrastination

I know. This has been a long-winded journal, lol. But, hopefully you resonate with my thought process.

I think you should just not do it. Just don’t. You’re stressed out because you tell yourself that you should be doing that thing. So, just tell yourself you don’t have to.

Don’t clean your house. Don’t cook dinner. Don’t write your blog post. Don’t apply for that job.

Once you give yourself permission, that pressure goes away. And then maybe you can think to yourself, “why was I stressing myself out so much?”

When you reflect with a lack of judgment, you find out interesting things about yourself.

For me, I’ve been putting off writing my biography because I’m afraid that this blog will die like all my other endeavors to get out of this rat race.

So, to prevent myself from being disappointed, I just don’t do that thing.

And I don’t know — something about that radical acceptance of like, “you know what? fuck it. i’m just gonna not do anything because nothing ever works” makes me just do things almost as a joke or just because I like doing it.

Concluding How to Stop Procrastination

Just don’t do it. Be that sack of shit that doesn’t get anything done. When you’re bored enough, you’ll just do it because there is no point, but there’s also nothing to do

It’s worked for me.

While I still haven’t hit milestones that would make me think, “wow, I’m like actually amazing,” I finished this blog post!

Can’t fight me on that.

Blogging Like It’s 2007: Figuring Out My Niche

Diane — Thu, 19 Jun 2025 16:15:59 +0000

Wow it’s been almost 6 months since my last post! Time flies when you’re doing a million things lol

By the way, I’m not here to teach you how to find your niche — I’m just sharing what it feels like to be in the middle of not knowing.

Consider this a timestamp on the journey, not the destination. If you’re here in real time, welcome! If this is the past, I hope you found this because I figured it out lol.

My Old “Niche”

Earlier in the year, I was shitposting on YouTube. I didn’t have any specific niche or idea in mind as I simply wanted to get into the habit of posting.

In one of my first YouTube Shorts, I said a New Years resolutions of mine was to wear makeup everyday and while I haven’t done that, I have been wearing makeup at least once a week because I sell cookies at the farmers market (more on that later).

I thought this was a good goal because I wanted to match my current self to my future self and thought this was a way to “access” her.

It’s a form of manifestation — you don’t attract what you want, you attract more of who you are.

So, if I put my best face forward, I get the best back.

It’s like how competitive swimmers shave so that they just feel slicker; it primes your brain to give 100% and “add” fuel to the fire when the fire is not the shaving — it’s you.

The shaving just makes it easier to get you to give it your all.

Accidentally Exploring the Baking Niche

I started selling cookies again in April at the farmers market, which is why and how I re-purposed my shitposting YouTube content to focus more on baking.

But, I don’t want to be a baking content creator.

For one, I’m not a recipe developer. While I have thought about niching down on making mini scaled down versions of my favorite recipes and maybe being a recipe collector of sorts, filming this type of content is actually very time consuming!

I film cookie content for my home bakery, Cookie Cazimi, using the Insta360 GO 3S with the head strap so I can shoot my point-of-view.

I thought this would be easier than setting up different angles on a tripod with my phone, but the battery dies after 40 minutes, no matter how long I keep it on the charger.

Baking days are long! And I’d rather get my baking done than turn the recording on and off constantly. I mean, how is that any different than just using my iPhone?

I know it’s petty. But, that’s honestly what stops me.

I don’t look forward to filming.

Removing barriers to entry (no matter how small) really make the difference between you doing something consistently and always putting it off until tomorrow.

How the Little Things Affect the Big Things

When I took a class on how to alter clothes from a professional tailor, the instructor told me that she would have clients come in just to bring something in or out a quarter inch. That’s just 1/4 of an inch!

But, they’d drop the money to fix every suit and pant they had because they knew it would just make wearing that piece of clothing so much more enjoyable.

After that class, I altered all the hoods of my hoodies and it seriously made a huge difference!

One hoodie’s hood was sewn for the head of a toddler and another was just a hair too tight — hardly noticeable but it made taking it on and off annoying enough for me to default to my perfectly hooded hoodie.

So… what now?

Well, I’ve been trying to change up the style of my cookie content by offering more information about my product rather than the process of me making it to showcase what I’m bringing.

But, that’s for the home bakery I set up in Maryland. What will the blog and YouTube channel be about?

I know there are a lot of content creators who are known for a bunch of different things. However, they’re always known for one thing first and then they branch out.

I just don’t know which branch to niche down on first.

When in doubt, astrology it out

I’ve been following Liz Worth Tarot, now Tarot and Astrology, for a couple years now. I was there when she just offered tarot services but she recently started offering astrology readings again.

She had a service called Creative Astrology for Artists, where she helps you find your creative voice and focus as an artist based on your birth chart.

TL;DR I need to be seen and in the public eye. So, blogging and posting on YouTube? Check.

As for what I should be blogging and posting about?

Liz said anything that’s psychological or taboo that I can share my insights on and go deeper than public discourse.

To be honest, this kind of scares me. With people on TikTok going viral for the wrong reasons and having gossip YouTubers post summaries and complications of the drama, I simply don’t want to be involved.

And I know — just don’t say or do anything stupid. But, it’s like going through TSA and having your bag go through extra security. You’re just like, “Hm, maybe I did pack a bomb!”

Maybe I will say something stupid or be cringe. But honestly? I don’t think I like where I am more.

The best student is a teacher niche?

Because of my heavy 8th house placements, of course, I can also dabble into astrology and tarot. I mean, wouldn’t it be so cool if I could just read stuff like that?

And I have picked up some things here and there, but gaining fluency and bridging that gap from where I am to where I want to be has been elusive.

So, I thought maybe I can document my journey learning and telling you what I’m learning in hopes that you learn too?

Liz said that that’s a pretty good idea because then I can share stories that attach themselves to larger themes and meanings from a card or an aspect rather than me feeling like I’m sharing my whole private life with strangers — I’m still a Scorpio after all, lol.

I just don’t know how I’m going to do it. Like, do I just film myself reading? Because that’s how you learn :/

Maybe I’ll just do random lessons, like the life stages of the zodiacal wheel that helped me remember the order of the signs or how to remember what each card means.

I’ll definitely be all over the place, but might as well just be all over the place rather than in no place.

I know people stress the importance of having strategy and not posting just to post, but I think everything is true all at once, just not for everybody.

Because naturally, I am a planner, so I can be in this stage forever. I need to do the opposite of what I’m naturally inclined to do.

If you’re the kind of person who avoids thinking about the future and just does things, then you need to step back and plan. You see what I mean?

Do you need a persona?

It’s hard to say. I think a lot of my favorite astrologers on TikTok have a persona because when I’ve booked a session with them or check out their long form content, they’re different.

I think it’ll be the same for me where on YouTube, I’ll have some sort of detached-from-myself character but here, I’ll just be me and share my real thoughts and feelings.

I feel like people who are willing to take the extra steps to check out my blog and actually read are my people whereas passerbys will just take my videos as is and move on.

What does this have to do with 2007?

If you’ve been reading this through, then you can tell that I’ve just been rambling — rambling like they did back in the Tumblr days when people just posted about stuff that interested them.

Blogging has lost the plot.

People start blogging just to make passive income as fast as possible in order quit their jobs and sell courses on “how to be on the front page of Google” to people trying to do the same.

Back in my day (lol), the Internet was a place for teenagers to rage post, share their interests, and make friends online with people who truly understood them.

The people who found them were the real ones. It was exclusive. It was cool.

I’m just gonna channel my eleven year old self discovering Xanga for the first time and post to connect.

You want to learn about what I’m learning about regarding tarot and astrology — and everything else? Subscribe to my YouTube channel!

Figuring Out My Niche Again Conclusion

So yeah, I’m not reinventing the wheel here — I’m just circling back to the version of the Internet that made me fall in love with sharing in the first place.

No polished niche, no ten-step funnel, no perfect plan. Just vibes, curiosity, and a need to express.

If you’re down to grow with me through the mess, the learning curves, and the little sparks of clarity along the way, then you’re exactly who I’m writing for.

Thanks for being here — let’s see where this goes!

My Beginner’s Guide to NYC: Midtown Part 2

Diane — Sat, 23 Nov 2024 22:45:47 +0000

“Mid” is in Midtown but it’s the best town, okay?

I fucking love Midtown. I think it has most of the New York City type stuff tourists think about when they think about New York City. When I returned to Manhattan in May of 2024, I often found myself in MidTown!

If you don’t know, I’m doing a four-part blog series on my visit to New York City for the first time. Previously, we explored the Upper East Side to live our best broke Gossip Girl fantasies.

We’ll continue moving our way down Manhattan until we ride the ferry toward Dumbo, Brooklyn!

Until then, let’s see what Midtown has to offer

Seeing the Empire State Building, Walking Bryant Park, and Exploring the New York Public Library in Midtown

The Empire State Building is a globally recognized symbol of New York and offers stunning views of the city skyline from its observation decks, drawing visitors who seek a classic NYC experience.

Bryant Park is a lively green oasis amid Midtown’s hustle and bustle. The New York Public Library was built in 1911 and is known for its iconic lion statues and grand Beaux-Arts architecture, which incorporates elements from the Greeks and Romans.

Imma be honest and say I only took a picture at the Library in New York LOL. The building was nice (as you can see).

But, I was there at all these places. Just trust me, bro.

If you read my blog post about my day in the Upper East Side at the Met, then you’ll know that I’m a look-and-go type tourist.

Like, I didn’t go to the top of the Empire State Building. I just saw the building. From what I’ve been told, it’s expensive as well. I’ve been on the top floor of high-rise buildings before. And sure, I didn’t see THE skyline, but that’s a choice I was willing to make and don’t regret it.

My walk in Bryant Park was better than the walk I had in Central Park. Yeah, there’s less cool shit, but it feels less congested somehow, even with the lack of grass.

I’d love to return during Christmas to experience the Holiday Market in New York City at Bryant Park!

Grand Central Station vs. Moynihan Train Hall

Grand Central Station, known just as Grand Central, is a historical transportation hub that opened around the same time as the Public Library in 1913, so it features the same Beaux-Arts architecture. Officially called Grand Central Terminal because this is where trains originated and terminated, so it was an endpoint for multiple rail lines.

Grand Central, however, is not just a train station. There are shops and restaurants you can frequent. Like, I went to Shake Shack lol.

Also, if you go to the Oyster Bar & Restaurant, you’ll find yourself at the Whispering Gallery, an archway where two people can stand at opposite corners, face the wall, and whisper to each other. The curved design of the arches allows sound to travel along the surface.

I don’t believe this was on purpose, but it’s fun and stupid lol.

Moynihan Train Hall is an expansion of Penn Station where AmTrak mostly goes out of. This revitalized space with its historic outside features a spacious, light-filled atrium with a glass skylight inside.

TRAVEL TIP:

If you are traveling out of New York City via AmTrak and have to go to Moynihan Train Hall for departure, search for Moynihan Food Hall because Google Maps can send you somewhere weird.

Rockefeller Center in Midtown

When I think Rockefeller Center, I think of ice skating and Home Alone 2. If you’re old enough to remember watching this or the original Home Alone in theatres, did you know you’d be watching these movies for the rest of your life? Haha.

Anyway — Rockefeller Center is a hub for… everything! NBC Studios and Radio City Music Hall are home here, so there’s a lot of art, entertainment, and shopping available for visitors. The Art Deco architecture makes the famous Prometheus statue stand out amongst the fountains and line up of international flags.

St. Pat’s Cathedral in New York

I made my way onto Fifth Avenue, which I learned is why Saks Fifth Avenue is called Saks Fifth Avenue lol

But, I didn’t go to shop! I went to St. Patrick’s Cathedral, a Neo-Gothic landmark that stands out like he most magnificent sore thumb amongst the skyscrapers.

It is weird that you’re able to walk around during a service, but that’s just how they do it! I assume it’s also a great way to receive donations for upkeep. In fact, the Cathedral allows you to make offerings to different saints for different things like you go to St. Jude for difficulties or St. Anthony for finding lost things.

The atmosphere of the Cathedral is warm and serene if you can get past the fact that there’s security and a line of non-worshippers here to just take pictures… like myself LOL

Times Square is in Midtown?

Times Square is arguably the most iconic part of New York City and I didn’t know where it exactly was lol. Although known for its neon and LED-lit advertisement displays, Times Square is also considered the heart of Broadway because it is home to many famous theatres.

In fact, I watched my first Broadway show, Aladdin the Musical, here! Aladdin is an incredibly fun and well-paced musical, but I was told (after the fact) that this is not a good first show to watch because it will spoil you because the production quality is so spectacular that other shows may struggle to measure up!

Anyway, Times Square is a must-see at night to get the full effect of the spectacular lights. Just be sure to keep your purse and wallet close to your person because I can imagine this being a prime pick-pocket spot with all the jam-packed bodies.

What I ate in Midtown

Hole in the Wall

Hole in the Wall is a charming Australian brunch spot with multiple locations across New York, but I went to the one overseeing the East River.

The restaurant is small, but I love that the building walls have high ceilings and giant windows! The natural light really expands the room.

The Smoked Salmon Lox Toast tasted fresh and smokey. I love lemon, capers, and dill, which are musts with salmon.

And we had an omelet on toast. Looking at the menu again, I think they may have switched some items out but of course, the lox is still there!

Lysee

Lysee is a Korean-French bakery, known for the viral corn mousse cake. You crack the chocolate corn shell to reveal a light corn mousse, which is slightly sweet and nutty (in a corn-y way). It was, however, the shortbread center that made this spectacular. I wish there was more of it.

Founded by Chef Eunji Lee, Lysee also has a signature brown rice ice cream with pecans and caramel, which honestly tasted better than the corn dessert! But, of course, there are candied pecans, so how could it lose? lol

The passionfruit mango juice was fabulous! But, I don’t think it’s because of this restaurant more so that passionfruit and mango are superior fruits and you’d have to be terrible at cooking to mess it up. 10/10

Magnolia Bakery

At Moynihan Train Hall, I made a quick pit stop at Magnolia Bakery.

Magnolia Bakery is famous for its cupcakes, but it’s known for popularizing the banana pudding! And yes, I said popularizing because people get mad when this beloved Southern American dessert is associated with the Big City.

Anyway, could your grandma make one better? Probably! Banana pudding is so easy to make, yet very effective in being delicious for the low effort.

But, for a pick-me-up, it’s good. It does lack banana funny enough. Like, if it had 1.5x more banana, it would be perfect.

Raku

Raku offers Japanese comfort food and is known for its udon. I see this place all the time on everyone’s Instagram stories.

It was just okay for me. When you’re in the cold City and want something hot, warm, and comforting, Raku is a good place to eat at. But, it’s just good and not bad.

With that said, I would go back! Raku is a solid place for when you’re craving udon and tempura. It just won’t change your life.

Go to Nom Nam instead…

In full transparency, I didn’t go to Nom Nam on this trip, which is why I don’t have pictures. But, this place will change your life! At least it changed mine.

I’ve never had good pho or bahn mi until Nom Nam. When I would watch food shows and they described how “pho is all about the broth” or exclaim how “bahn mis are the best,” I just didn’t get it. I liked pho because I put a mountain of Sriracha in it. And I had bahn mi once and never craved it again.

I GET IT NOW! THIS PLACE MADE ME GET “IT!”

The broth was amazing, so flavorful, and super clean, like all the fat was skimmed out yet the flavor somehow stayed. Nom Nam also offers a housemade chili sauce to go with their pho.

I got the ham and pâté bahn mi without cucumber because they’re disgusting. I don’t even know why it was so good. It just was and is perfect for dipping into your pho broth.

Romano Pizza Restaurant

The best pizza ever. I know you see the TikToks, Instagram Reels, and YouTube Shorts going on about Joe’s or whatever, but Romano Pizza Restaurant is where it’s at.

In fact, I change my mind. Don’t come here!

I personally love the Margarita pizza the most. Everything else I’ve tried is delicious — don’t me wrong. But, the Margarita is just so much better because of the fresh basil!

Concluding My Day Exploring Midtown in NYC

Midtown is definitely the most packed day as it has the most “New York” stuff to visit and check off the bucket list.

If you’re in Manhattan for only 4 days, you could arguably cover Midtown in two days and skip exploring Dumbo, Brooklyn. That’s up to you!

Really great entertainment and restaurants are in Midtown, but the best restaurants are in SoHo and the Financial District.

My Beginner’s Guide to NYC: Upper East Side Part 1

Diane — Wed, 06 Nov 2024 22:30:38 +0000

The Upper East Side is known for being one of the richest neighborhoods in New York City and it could be kind of basic to go and visit, but… I am a basic bitch and I’m proud! I don’t know why “basic” is an insult when mastering the basics is so important to anything you do.

Anyway, I’ve never been to New York City, one of the most famous cities in the world, but that changed on September 5, 2023.

If you know me or spent some time reading my blog posts, then you’ll know that I’m really into astrology. New York City is very close to my Jupiter line, meaning there was a lot of luck and growth in store for me in the Big Apple, so I was very excited about my trip! I was there for 4 days, so I split each “section” of New York.

Today, we’re exploring the Upper East Side of Manhattan.

Exploring Central Park of the Upper East Side

My first very first stop! Obviously one of the most iconic landmarks in New York City, Central Park is situated in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in Manhattan.

This historic park was created to provide an escape to residents and visitors from the hustle and bustle of the City because there’s something so soothing about the blending of industry with the natural world!

There’s really not much to else to do (or recommend) besides just walk — you’ll find something interesting lol. I found The Lake, which is seriously what it’s called; “THE” Lake, not “a” lake. I saw people boating amongst the ducks and turtles swimming, as they do.

I eventually found my way toward Bow Bridge. Known for its ovals running along the railing, Bow Bridge offers an amazing view of The Lake that people line up to take pictures of.

Once you cross that bridge, you’ll find yourself on the Bethesda Terrace and Fountain. Also known as the Bethesda Fountain, it is one of the most famous features of Central Park.

The giant statue is of an angel called the Angel of Waters, which symbolizes, peace, purity, and healing.

I then made my way up down a dark stairway hallway of sorts, known as the Bethesda Arcade, where someone was playing the Chinese cello! The Arcade is known for its tile ceiling and has amazing acoustics, haha.

The stairs lead up to The Mall or Literary Walk where you’ll find yourself in the wide, straight promenade lined with trees and benches on the side. I know you’ve seen those pictures!

Funny enough, I didn’t take any. I took this time to have nice conversation with my cousin before taking a stroll to look at the vendors and random statues lol.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art AKA The Met

Afterward, I naturally made my way to the (in)famous Metropolitan Museum because it’s literally right next to Central Park.

The Met is one of the most famous art museums in the world. These days it’s most famous for hosting the Met Gala, a celebrity-studded fashion event for charity (I feel like a lot of people forget that part). The goal of the Met was to educate the public on art across 5,000 years of history from all cultures and civilizations.

In front of the entrance, there are food trucks all along the sidewalk, but you may also find a black guy playing the saxophone.

My cousin told me that he is very beloved amongst Koreans who visit and come across him because he plays old Korean songs. And I’m not talking k-pop from the 90s. He plays old, folky music like Arirang and the national anthem of the Republic of Korea LOL

One time my cousin went to the Met with her mom and they were very sad because he wasn’t there. But, I was lucky

We assume he studied there or dated someone who is Korean

Anyway, here I am on the famous Gossip Girl steps.

When I visited, admission was $30 something per person but was free for those visiting with a New York resident. The teller does ask if you’d like to donate and my cousin always gives at least a dollar because she feels socially awkward just being like “nah” lol.

Pro Tip: Wear your backpack in front of your body so you don’t bump into anything accidentally because some items are just out there ready to be bumped into.

But, yeah like every other museum, you walk around, take pictures, and look at shit. I’m the quick observer type so I speed-ran everything.

What I Ate in the Upper East Side

Of course, no one travels without thinking about the amazing food they’ll eat.

I did eat breakfast in Midtown at Hole in the Wall and dinner in Soho at Fish Cheeks (Soho), which I will detail in blog posts dedicated to exploring Midtown and Soho for the first time.

The restaurant I went to that is in the Upper East Side is Serendipity 3, or just Serendipity.

Of course I got their most famous dessert item: the Frrrozen Hot Chocolate. You know how packaged hot cocoa has that hot cocoa taste that melted chocolate just doesn’t have (because it lacks milk powder), The Frrrozen Hot Chocolate has that nostalgic hot cocoa taste! It’s addictive.

I also got the Chocolate Blackout Cake and if you love decadent chocolate desserts that aren’t too sweet, this. is. it. Very rich and indulgent!

Concluding thoughts on what to do in the Upper East Side of New York City

The Upper East Side is one of the most classically beautiful parts of New York in that you feel like you’re in New York City — you made it! Haha. I constantly thought of Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s when I looked up at the skyline to see the architecture.

There’s always going to be more to do but I think Central Park and the Met are the perfect first of many stops you’ll do

Next, I will be sharing what I did in Midtown!

How I Found My Life Purpose Through Astrology

Diane — Mon, 16 Sep 2024 01:00:25 +0000

I didn’t really think I’d be able to find my life purpose through astrology when I first came across it. And I’ll be honest, I haven’t fully realized it yet.

But, I’ll be explaining to you why I think my time will come and what I’m going to do about it.

To give you some background, I’ve been trying to leave the job that I hate for the last five years through both entrepreneurship and new employment to no avail.

So, what gives? What the hell? LOL

I’m going to tell you more about it right now.

A Tarot-Fueled Intro to Astrology

I want to go back four and half years to that “two-week” lockdown in March 2020.

My cousins from New York City stayed with us for about six months in semi-rural Maryland. And to be honest, it was one of the best times of our lives because of the weekly charcuterie boards and King of the Hill (and Tiger King) marathons.

I know we were fortunate.

During this time, my cousin Lily re-introduced me to tarot through pick-a-card tarot videos by Star Girl the Practical Witch, now called Anita Serene. Star Girl incorporated astrology into her readings and Lily explained all the zodiac signs to me as we watched her videos together.

I was also trying to start a business with a travel cosmetics bag to leave my job and Star Girl’s videos kept my motivation up. She would tell me that something would go wrong, but that I should push through because success was coming and that kept me going.

And I know what you’re thinking: “Of course, she’s gonna tell you that.”

I knew that too! It’s not like I’m not self-aware. But, one thing about me was that I gave up easily and her videos kept me going. When it did end and I closed shop at the end of 2021, I wasn’t sad. I actually was proud of myself! And I do attribute that to Star Girl’s videos throughout that time.

Seeing something through to the end felt like my biggest accomplishment to date, even if it ended in “failure.”

From one Scorpio to another

After that chapter in my life closed, I decided to just look for another job. But, this is when all those tech layoffs in 2023 started and there were just too many people with direct experience in need of work. Not-so-funny enough, I kept losing the role to internal hires, so I wasn’t even competing with those who were freshly laid off.

I kept applying and networking, but you get tired… which leads to doom scrolling.

Eventually, I came across Evan Nathaniel Grim, a digital marketing analyst turned professional astrologer and psychic after getting a concussion at a nightclub, via Instagram reels. I found his straightforward delivery of what to expect during the upcoming transits, how each zodiac sign is impacted, and what you can do during that time to be very educational and informative.

Lily actually finds him to be kind of scary lol. Maybe because we’re both Scorpios, I find his intensity and bluntness to be very comforting.

One thing that stood out to me about Evan is how comfortable he is gassing himself up. He always called himself one of the top 10 astrologers in the world even when his business was only two years old at the time. And it’s not because he’s some kind of charlatan. Over time, I did see certain predictions he made weeks or months ago come true.

But, his confidence and conviction really stood out to me because that’s something I’m not comfortable doing myself. And I wish I were.

After months of engaging with his content, I had my first birth chart reading with Evan on October 16, 2023.

He always touted his birth chart readings to be the last birth chart reading you’ll ever need. So, tell me why one of the first things he said to me was that this is not going be my last birth chart reading? LOL — btw it’s because my Mercury and Pluto are conjunct in Scorpio, so I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge and information.

Anyway, I told him that I’ve been looking for a new job and hadn’t had much luck. Maybe he could give me some ideas as to what type of work I’d be good at and enjoy. And he gave me a lot of great ideas! Some things I would have been too scared to think I could even do, but if the stars told me I could, then why not? Because nothing else had worked so far.

Of course, the birth chart reading wasn’t all about my job hunt. It was about me after all. I will say that Evan told me something about a specific time in my life that was so specific — I was like, “Damn, this shit real.”

Another very helpful thing Evan did for me was time this “big wave” that was coming into my life.

You see, a few weeks prior, I had a spirit guide channeling with Heather Scavetta from School of Miracles where my spirit counsel told me that a “big wave” was coming and that I need to be ready for it by building my confidence and standing up for myself.

But, spirit guides don’t tell you when something will happen because “soon” is relative. Well, Evan said it was mid-March of 2025 lol.

A bit longer than I would have liked and it didn’t mean that I wouldn’t find a new job by then — just that any job I could find would be just a placeholder, which was fine by me. I simply wanted out!

After my session, I felt pretty invigorated and motivated to zhuzh up my resume and continue my job hunt toward something that would help me catch that “big wave.”

Nailing Down My Life Purpose through Astrology

Eight months later… still no job. I did, however, start a home bakery in Maryland selling chunky cookies to my friends, which also led me to start writing for The Diane Collective!

Funny enough, Evan did predict this, not in my session, but in his 2024 yearly horoscopes. He said I would start a new, unexpected income stream with the encouragement of a friend or mentor, which I did!!!

So, despite not landing a new job, I was vibing, which was a great start to starting over in my 30s.

But then, I felt this sudden urge to book another session with Evan.

This was around March 2024. It really came out of nowhere. My original intention was to get a transit reading in early 2025 to get more info on my year of the “big wave.”

Nevertheless, I followed my intuition and booked a more in-depth follow-up with Evan on June 21, 2024.

One thing I forgot to mention was that for my first reading, I didn’t talk much because I wanted to receive messages rather than steer them. So, Evan would say things, like “this could have happened, or that could have been the case” and because I didn’t interject, I developed some questions as to why it was this instead of that.

I told him that this time around I would talk and talk I did lol. But, this is essentially what he told me:

If there are ten Dianes, then there are three Dianes who would have lived relatively similar lives; the next three would have different lives to the first three but similar lives to each other; and the same with the next three Dianes.

As for the final, lonesome Diane, her life would have just been so radically and randomly different from the rest. Maybe she’s me – idk.

Anyway, I asked Evan about my past lives because your natal birth chart can reveal that and I’ve been feeling stuck in life, so I thought this would give me some clues as to why that may be. This steered our conversation to my relationship with a father figure who wants me to live my life a certain way.

Evan bluntly told me that as long as I work for someone else, I am under the thumb of this father figure and my karma is about rebelling against them. He said that I have the chart and ability to run my own business and be my own boss.

And of course, I would love that. But, why can’t I do both? Why am I being blocked from having a more fulfilling, well-paying job and running my own business?

My only answer is that there is no reward without risk. For me, quitting this job for my home bakery or this blog would be a lot for me and my desire for safety and stability through money.

But, maybe that’s my purpose: to show people that you can do it too.

Why me?

Our higher selves actually choose our birth charts. So, I chose this. I just don’t remember why.

I’m at a point in my life where I don’t take anything too seriously anymore and I’ve radically accepted that I’m starting over in my 30s after “failing” so much in my younger years.

Reflecting on my second session with Evan, I thought about what it is people like about me. Lately, people have told me that they love how I have so many hobbies and work very diligently to get better at all of them, which if you don’t know, I do three martial arts, sew my own clothes, bake desserts, practice astrology, read up on tarot, and write for this blog.

And maybe it just starts there. Showing people that you can find joy in your hobbies could very well not be my life purpose. But, it’s a start.

My Concluding Thoughts on Finding Your Life Purpose Through Astrology

Listen, you don’t have to book two astrology readings (and a spirit guide channeling or a past life regression) to find your life purpose. As much as Evan touted that I’m supposed to be some type of healer in this world by going off on my own, it’s still up to me to figure out how I want to do that.

This story is still writing itself.

But, I’m starting somewhere.

Starting over in your 30s again (again)

Diane — Fri, 30 Aug 2024 12:00:55 +0000

Starting over in your 30s isn’t so bad when you’ve done it so much in your 20s.

But, I’ll be honest and admit that I’m not happy about it.

While I’m a little dejected, I’m more so radically accepting that I haven’t found my life purpose in my 20s and will be doing it later than I would have liked.

What does finding your purpose even mean?

I think when life starts accidentally working out, you’ve found your purpose. And, things just haven’t worked out for me.

I’d try something new and it led nowhere. And we’ll get to the “it’s the things we’ve learned along the way” bit later lol.

This is actually my fourth blog.

I started my first blog in 2020 about how to solo travel as a woman so I could promote a crowdfunding campaign to launch a travel makeup bag I had designed. The second blog was about how to sew as a beginner. My third blog was about digital marketing so I could “make myself stand out” to employers, but with this shit economy, I still haven’t found another job.

The problem with being a girl with too many hobbies is that there isn’t enough time to do all of them!

When something else like selling cookies or mixed martial arts becomes my next fixation, things naturally fall by the wayside and those blogs just sat there, now defunct.

That’s why I’ve set up this personal lifestyle blog about my collection of hobbies. So, when something else naturally piques my interest and is that season’s obsession, I can still write about it!

I know it goes against all conventional wisdom that mandates niching down in order to build a dedicated audience, but overcoming challenges sometimes requires you to go against the grain.

Consistency over everything else. At least I think so for now.

I know wandering with no purpose is just as bad but that’s not my particular problem so that’s not my particular solution!

This time around, I’m just fucking around to find out. I have no expectations on this leading anywhere besides meeting other people who maybe feel the same and want to do shit to make life a little better.

The meaning of success in your 20s

As annoying as starting over in your 30s after a setback (or five) in your 20s is, starting fresh feels more focused on personal growth than anything else.

Because to be honest, I’ve sort of given up on what it means to be successful i.e. make a lot of money lol.

“Giving up” sounds kind of bad.

What I’m really trying to say is that starting over in my 30s is about radically accepting that things just didn’t fall into place in my 20s as I had hoped and it just is what it is.

I have friends and family members who did seemingly stumble into their lucrative careers in their 20s and even say they’ve found their purpose in life, but are still lost — just in different ways.

While it doesn’t really make me feel better per se, it makes it easier to accept what is for me.

Maybe in my next life things will be “easy” and I’ll be rich in all the ways that I wanted to be in my 20s and aligned with my purpose sooner rather than later too.

But, I know the human experience will always involve struggle. I’ll probably have the same low vibrational experience in some other aspect of my life and I’ll be wishing that I wasn’t going through this and that I would rather give up everything that I have to not be going whatever problem I’m going through.

So, what the hell is a girl supposed to do if life just sucks period?

Starting over in your 30s by living in the moment

Based on all the soul-searching that I’ve done this year, the only answer that I can give you (because it is the only answer that I have been given) is to live in the moment and find joy in something, anything simply for the sake of it.

Because if you don’t live in the moment now, you won’t live in the moment when you have everything.

And let’s say worst-case scenario you never achieve anything. Now you’ve fucked yourself over twice.

It’s objectively better to have lived an uneventful, mediocre life happy than to have lived an uneventful, mediocre life miserable, no?

Easier said than done, but it does help when it does lol.

Do it for your future self/selves

I’ve been exploring the concept of past lives this summer to figure out why I feel like a loser, which to be clear, for me, the definition of a loser is someone who sets goals and does not achieve them.

I’ve been looking for a new job for the last three to five years ㄱ.ㄱ

After doing some research, I did a past life regression with Fiona Harris of Clear Path Healing and she explained that we are but a tentacle of a giant octopus that is our higher self.

So, our past lives are living their lives in tandem to ours (sort of) and we can tap into their energy as well. To me, this also means our next life is a new tentacle that we’re living simultaneously after this one (?).

But, more importantly, what we learn in this life will help our next life.

And, I want to do my future self (in this life and next) a favor by re-wiring my brain to focus on finding joy or peace in everything I do, no matter how small or mundane. It’s the best way to enjoy the bigger things that will come along and you will feel so much inner satisfaction without attachment to the external.

This was the strongest message I was given in my session with Fiona.

If this blog never goes anywhere, if I never find another job, if my bakery never gets accepted to the farmer’s market, then the least I can do is just vibe and get really good at it.

Concluding thoughts on starting over in your 30s

I have no idea if this is helpful to anyone else but me LOL. If you’re not into woo-woo witch talk, then I’ll leave you with this:

Don’t focus on reinventing yourself when starting over in your 30s. Focus on rediscovering yourself instead.

There’s a saying that children are closest to god and we slowly get cut off from that source as we age. Since we were all once children ourselves, we were also once pure and close to god/source/the universe.

We are not becoming “new,” but going back to “old.”

I hope this was helpful!